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Peninsula/South Bay POMC, Santa Clara, California

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If
                                    I were Alive, What would I say?

If I were alive, what would I say
To the man who took my life breath away?
What was the reason, what was the rhyme
That left me with so great a loss of time?
I had a life full of plans.
I had a life.

I had a life with a special man (unknown to you) waiting for me,
Waiting for college degrees completed,
A marriage, and a family.
I had a life.

I had a mother who taught me to cook and to sing,
I was the precious only daughter to my father,
I had a brother I'm proud to say was my best friend.
I had a life.

What about my family now that I'm gone?
Do you ever wonder what you've done to them?
No words you can say will ever bring me back.
No words that you write will ever delete the memory.

That memory so hard to forget,
Too hard for me to live through.
The night I never came home.
The night you took my family, my man, my plans, my dreams, my hopes,
My life breath away.
I had a life.

I wait in silence for justice to speak even though I have no voice.
May you stay where you are, let no others' families be burdened
By their daughters' life breaths lost at your hands.
Only to be mourned and grieved, and mourned again.

Let peace begin, let peace remain.
Let life dreams flourish, let plans begin again.
Let no one forget that I once had plans and dreams.
Let no one forget that my name was Angel and I had a life.

(written in memory of Angel Marie Allen by Colette Krinock, 6/9/14,
to be read at first parole hearing of murderer Matthew Ferguson on 7/16/14)

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************ATTEND A POMC NATIONAL  CONFERENCE?

I have often wondered why in an organization of thousands of members and
60+ chapters we do not have more than 350 attendees on average at our
national conferences.  It’s a  shame more survivors do not utilize this wonderful experience. 

Then, I have to remember back to when I  first began attending POMC meetings and how hard it was.  It took me another couple of years to attend my first POMC conference, held by the Minnesota Hope Chapter. 

Once I attended one though, I knew I  would attend again, despite the fact I was emotionally drained when I  returned.  You see, nothing in life  after murder is ever the same. 

We  are emotionally drained after a birthday party, a wedding, or graduation.  Drained because we are constantly reminded of the fact our loved one no longer shares the milestones of our lives,  drained because of the continual reminder that life goes on without them – never  the same – but it does goes on.

That first conference I timidly attended all those years ago taught me so much. 

The  workshops were amazingly helpful, informative and one actually had a room full  of survivors laughing their heads off.  Can you imagine a workshop that could make you laugh when still tormented  by the nightmare of f resh, traumatic grief?  Darcie Sims, a grief therapist who  specialized in humor, was presenting just such a workshop, and did we  laugh! 

 We laughed because she  showed us how to laugh – at all the tuna casseroles we received after our loved  one died, at all the “stupid” comments people make to us attempting to make us feel better in their extreme discomfort.  We even laughed at the sight of Darcie wearing sunglasses with wipers for  the tears, and how she filled her pockets with toilet tissue rolls, because one Kleenex was not enough for us. 

We  laughed because we needed to laugh, to purge some of the pent up emotions  dragging us down and Darcie, a bereaved parent herself, showed us we could. Rest  in peace dearest Darcie. (she died this past February)

I cried at that conference too.  Of course, I cried.  You cannot attend a POMC conference and not see tears at some point or another, especially during the beautiful memorial  service and the parade of smiling pictures of those no longer with us on Friday  night. 

But you cry among those who understand and bonds are forged that become endless friendships.  You don’t have to hide your emotions as  you do in the real world when they begin to flow.  I felt comfortable to cry there, I felt  emotionally and physically hugged the whole time with hundreds of other  compassionate survivors.  I felt at home –  something I had not felt at  the home where my son no longer existed after his  murder.

After murder, we have to be shown how to do everything  again.  Did you ever think you would  laugh after your loved one was murdered?  Did you think you could ever feel any joy again (subsequent children and  grandchildren born A.M. – after murder)?  Did you think you would ever stop fearing going outside into the real world again, or letting your surviving children and family do so too?  Did you ever think you would stop  feeling anything but anger? 

Come to  a POMC conference and learn that you can again feel something besides pain.  Think about attending our conference  this year.........I guarantee you will be surprised, uplifted, humbled, hugged,  empowered and informed.  Information  makes this grief journey more bearable. 

 It arms us to cope and to endure.  This journey is made easier among others who truly understand. The  conferences promote healing, rebuilding shattered lives, and a gentleness and  compassion permeates the air in odd contrast to the violence that brings us all  together. 

 I wish none of us had to  weather this storm but why not weather it together in the safety of a port of  other survivors where no one is alone.

Almost full circle from my first conference this year we  are in Minnesota again. The Southeast Minnesota chapter is hosting this year’s conference being held in Rochester. 

Sign up now.  Take care of  and be good to yourselves but sign up already.  JUST COMMITT AND GO! Go on line to www.pomc.org for information and  registration.  Or call 888-818-7662


Reprinted with permission. May 19, 2014

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

January, 2014

We are "green" only now.

If you did not provide us with your information, we do not have it and you will not receive any email reminders from us.

PLEASE support POMC by sending us your email information.

We can not help others if you do not help us.

We meet every month and need you to help support others.

Claudia, Chapter Leader

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************

February 14, 2013

We are working very hard to "GO GREEN".  We are changing your information as soon as you send it to us.

We have coordinated several lists together for fewer hard copies.

We have updated all the information we have on file from our survivors

We hope to hear from you.

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

November 4, 2012

Hello Everyone:

WE have a NEW HOME for our monthly meetings. We will meet at The Center for Creative Living, 1460 Koll Circle, Suite C, San Jose, CA 95112 .

We will be meeting on the 2nd Monday of each month.

We will meet from 6:30 to 8:30 pm in The Library (please enter quietly and follow the signs if meetings are in progress).

Our phone number is 1-831-426-0874.

Meetings in 2013; January 14, February 11, March 11, April 8, May 13, June 10, July 8, August 12, September 9, October 14, November 11 and December 9

Doti Boon, a long time friend of the Centre for Living with Dying and her church accepted us with open arms.

This will be a permanent home for as long as they will have us.

We greatly appreciate their help and the monthly donation to their church will keep them going as well..

Our chapter is going "Green" for all information, meeting announcements, chapter reports and newsletters.

We financially can’t afford snail mail and have not been able to for quite some time.

If you do not have an email address, please let us know and we will be sure to send everything to you via the post office.

The person that formerly paid for all our mailings has had her lifestyle change and has been unable to donate the funds for the mailings in over 2 years.

Using your email address will save postage costs.

Notices have already been going out to those already in our data banks.

Each email will be sent without showing YOUR email address.

The email will be addressed from POMC to POMC and you will receive a "blind copy".

This is for your privacy and your safety from extra spam.

The email address that will show in your "In box" will be: southbaypomc@hotmail.com Please add us to your safe mailing list.

We do need YOU to send southbaypomc@hotmail.com an email with your email address and we will add you to our data base.

If you received this letter by email, we already have you in our data base and you need do nothing unless you wish to be removed.

We were finally able to access the contents of our website because Tripod.com accommodated the Chapter to enter, edit and change passwords.

We’d love to have a volunteer that would like to keep it updated and current with the newsletters and changes: http://pomcca.tripod.com

The Board of Directors has changed the Passwords and User names to reflect the chapter for easier access by all that need it.

Wells Fargo is sincere in keeping our Chapter on a no fee basis every month for our check book.

We need a volunteer that enjoys writing newsletters that we will email and add to the website.

Your donations are always happily accepted and your name and loved ones name is listed on our website.

We have a wonderful anonymous donor from Chevron that has been donating to the chapter

and we have no idea who they are, but they are the blessing that has kept the Chapter going.

Remember, we have vacation rentals in Arnold and Santa Cruz, California

Donating 15% of the rental fees to POMC each time when POMC is stated with the rental.

Our Holiday Memorial Service will be held on Monday, December 10, 2012 at 6:30pm. Please join us and help celebrate our family.

The National Office has moved their facilities and streamlined all computers and data.

We’re coming into the New Year slick and sleek with new officers, new website, new information and staff.

The 27th Annual National Conference for 2013 will be held in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Thursday, August 15 to Sunday. August 18, 2013 at the Hilton Cincinnati Netherland Plaza.

Let’s all attend. The workshops, the shared information, the hugs and our POMC family survivors are always waiting for us.

Please get back to us (southbaypomc@hotmail.com) with your email address as soon as you can.

Sincerely,

Claudia J. Place

Chapter Leader

Peninsula/Southbay POMC
215 Liberty Street
Santa Cruz, CA 95060-6514

.